


Battlestar Galactica: Devotion

by Treadstone17



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Mild Profanity, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28493865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treadstone17/pseuds/Treadstone17
Summary: Lieutenant Kara Thrace, Call Sign Starbuck, isn't too sure about this new Colonial President, plucked from far down the succession list. But on Lee's advice, Kara gives Laura Roslin a chance.
Relationships: Laura Roslin/Kara "Starbuck" Thrace
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue

“ **You have to be kidding me, Lee** ”, Lieutenant Kara Thrace, Call Sign Starbuck, said in disbelief to her CAG/friend/sometimes lover/pain-in-the-ass, Captain Lee Adama, Call Sign Apollo. “The Secretary of _Education_?”

“Did I stutter, Starbuck?” Lee wasn't in the mood for this. He had gone through a bad day. Then again, no one had had a particularly good day among the ranks of Humanity, that were suddenly cut down to a precious few. The Cylons, after a forty-year absence and silence, had struck the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, all the information coming into the Battlestar _Galactica_ was that it had completely annihilated the twelve planets.

Lee had met the new President aboard what had been _Colonial Heavy_ 7-9-8, and what was now designated as _Colonial One._ He had been assigned to escort the ship, carrying Secretary of Education Laura Roslin back to Caprica after she had been the guest of honor at the decommission ceremony of _Galactica_.

He was just glad to be alive.

He had destroyed a Cylon missile that was headed right at _Colonial Heavy_ 7-9-8; he had tricked Cylon Raiders into thinking that the ship had been destroyed, knocking himself unconscious in the process; he had been there when Laura Roslin had been sworn in as president, and when the almost unbearable decision had been made to leave a host of non-FTL civilian ships behind, as The Cylons launched an attack.

“She was number forty-three in the line of succession, and that'll give you an indication of the magnitude of this attack.”

“Forty third”, Kara said softly, almost to herself. “There's no way she's qualified to be...”

“Who is”, Lee asked with some exasperation. “The Colonies are _gone_ , Kara. We are all that's left. By law, she is the President. Besides”, he said, with a small gleam in his eye, “I've already seen her in action on _Colonial One_. She's tough as nails. I think she might even be tougher than you, Starbuck.”

Kara snorted a laugh. “Highly doubtful.”

“My point is”, Lee said more earnestly, “to give her a chance. We need to get behind her, and do our job.”

Kara Thrace was a hard woman to convince about anything-except if someone asked her to drink, smoke, or frack. But she would take Lee's advice, and give this nascent President a chance.

* * *

“Commander”, President Laura Roslin asked, “I don't recall meeting that pilot. Who is she?”

Bill Adama smiled despite himself. That pilot was currently chewing out a deck hand working on her viper.

“I don't care, Crewman”, the young, blonde women said with feeling. “That gun belt needs to be pulled and replaced. Now I can go to the Chief if you want. Your call...”

“That, Madam President”, Bill said with a shake of his head, “is Lieutenant Kara Thrace, Call Sign Starbuck. Our resident pain-in-the-ass.”

“Why didn't I see her when I was onboard during the ceremony the other day?”

“She was cooling her heels in the Brig, Madam President. She slugged Colonel Tigh during a game of Poker. Tigh thought she was cheating. Saul upended a table into her, and she slugged him.”

Laura's eyes opened in shock. “You're kidding? I can't believe...”

Bill stopped her. “Any other pilot, I wouldn't believe it”, he observed. “Kara? Par for the course. She's been written up more times than I can remember.”

“Why is she still on active duty, then?”

Adama looked right at the new President. “Because in my fifty years in the service, I've never seen a better pilot. Ever. I think she may be one of the best ever to fly any kind of fighter for The Colonies.”

“High praise”, Roslin said, having read up on Bill Adama's own extraordinary military career. “There's more to it than that”, Laura mused, giving the Commander a sideways glance.

 _She's sharp,_ Bill Adama said to himself. “Yes, there is. She was engaged to my late son Zak, who was killed in a Viper about a year ago.”

Laura knew of Zak's death, part of her file on the Commander. That information had been divulged in the report.

“Let's go over and talk to her”, Bill urged the President.

Kara had finished putting the fear of the gods into the Crewman, and was back in her cockpit, looking for any more problems. Her ship had been shot up pretty good when they engaged The Cylons, but she expected it to be back in service by the next day.

“Starbuck”, Bill Adama commanded, as he and Roslin approached the ship. Starbuck looked over and smiled at the Old Man.

“What can I do for you, Boss?”

“Come on down here for a moment.”

Kara popped out of the cockpit and down the ladder that sided up to her ship. She turned upon reaching the deck, giving the Commander a salute, Adama doing the same.

“Lieutenant Thrace”, the Commander said, looking at Starbuck, then at Roslin, “I'd like to introduce you to the President of The Colonies, Laura Roslin.”

“Madam President”. Kara snapped off a salute of her own, Laura knowing enough not to salute back.

“Lieutenant Thrace.” Laura extended her hand, both women firmly grasping the others' hand. “It looks like you had some trouble with your ship?”

“No trouble with the ship, Madam President”, Kara said with her cheeky grin, “just a problem with The Cylons.”  
  
“I see.” Laura eyed the young woman closely. Her hair was cut tomboyishly short-it looked like she had cut it herself. She had a gorgeous smile, and beautiful, golden-green eyes that were sharp, but, Laura thought, hid under them a story of a woman who had seen far more than her young years would indicate. “I hear you performed an...unusual maneuver, to save Captain Apollo just before we jumped?” The President flexed her eyebrows upward.

Kara snorted. “Yeah, well, someone had to save Lee's ass, and I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd give him a...lift back to the ship.” Bill Adama simply snorted when Kara looked at him. The smile that lit up Starbuck's face almost took Laura's breath away, so full of life it was.

“Well, on behalf of your President, I'm glad you saved Apollo's caboose.” Kara laughed heartily at that. “Apollo pretty much saved our collective asses on _Colonial One_ when the attack began, so I'm very grateful.”

“He's already the President's pet?” It was said with another mischievous grin, making the President laugh.

“Starbuck”, Adama warned her.

“It's okay, Commander”, Laura said with the same smile, her eyes not leaving the eyes of this mysterious young woman. “The President is entitled to at least one pet.”

The line was said with complete seriousness, that it caught Kara off-guard. She could only laugh loudly when she got it.

“I think you and I are gonna get along just fine, Madam President”, Kara said teasingly, her eyes twinkling.

“I'll just steer clear of any of your card games, Lieutenant.” Kara turned beet red, knowing she couldn't deny it. Laura had her own hearty laugh. “But I think you're right, Lieutenant.”

As they parted, both women had the exact same thought about the other: _She's definitely not what I expected._


	2. Chapter 2

I

  
  


**Lieutenant Kara Thrace was resting** uncomfortably in Sickbay, after her ordeal that had nearly left her dead. After taking on a wing of eight Raiders, almost by herself-she still had to have a talk with Hot Dog, that damned Nugget, who disobeyed her orders, _although thank the gods for that,_ she thought sardonically. _The rookie_ _helped save my ass._

That had been the best part of her week.

She and the last Raider had dueled until they collided, both ships crash-landing on a nearby planet. Her knee broken, the planet nearly inhospitable, Starbuck was certain her number was up. Yet somehow, she had found the downed Raider, and had taught herself to fly the machine/life form, smelly as it was, back to _Galactica_. Lee had almost shot he out of the sky, but she had taped her Call Sign on the Raider, and now she was home.

She didn't like being on the shelf.

Both Lee and the Old Man had visited her since her return. The Commander had made a rapprochement with her, after he learned that Kara had passed his late son Zak through flight training even though he didn't belong in a cockpit. They had parted on bad terms before the crash. Her almost-miraculous return had mended things to a large extent.

She was dozing off when she heard Cottle's voice outside her curtained cubical, the other voice not quite recognized. Still being shot up with pain killers, she wasn't quite all there. When the owner of the voice stepped through the curtain, she put two and two together.

“Madam President?”

“Hello, Lieutenant”, Laura Roslin said with a smile. “Welcome home, young lady.”

“Thank you, sir”, Starbuck said, still surprised at the Presidential visit. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanted to see how our wayward pilot is doing.” A broad smile crossed the President's face, Kara instinctively smiling back. _I didn't realize she had such a great smile,_ Kara mused. _Hell, I didn't know she could smile._ “You've had quite an adventurous few days, haven't you?”

Kara snorted a laugh. “Yeah, well, between you and me, I don't need such adventures. The normal, run-of-the-mill ones are enough for me, thank you very much.”

Laura Roslin laughed at the remark. “Things are never boring around here, you're right about that.” They both chuckled. “How are you feeling, Kara?”

There was genuine concern in Laura's voice, which warmed Starbuck. There was just something about this woman...

They had not interacted often, but every time they did, Kara became more impressed. She was the only one in The Fleet who didn't cower around the Commander, or around Tigh, for that matter. Maybe she didn't become President in a normal way, but so far, Kara was impressed by her assertiveness, and the respect she had commanded.

“I'm pretty wired up on pain killers right now, so I'm feeling pretty good”, she said with a goofy grin, which Laura was sure was caused by the pain killers. “But even with them, the knee hurts like hell. I'll be out of commission for a while.”

“I have no doubt you'll be back driving us and The Cylons crazy in no time, Lieutenant.”

Kara rolled her eyes and laughed. “I think I'll take that as a compliment, Madam President.”

“It was one, I assure you, Starbuck”, Roslin said with her own giggle.

To say that Laura Roslin had been just as impressed the few times she had talked to, and had observed Kara Thrace, was an understatement. Yes, the younger woman was undisciplined and too cocky most times, but she did back it up when flying. But for all of Kara's bombast, Laura could sense, below the surface, a very unsure Human Being, who, from all she had been told, had gone through a terrible childhood. Kara acted tough-and she was, as far as it went-but underneath, she was a giving, caring person, who was just looking for some acceptance in a world that had never accepted her.

“I honestly think I was too late in getting back to The Fleet”, she admitted to Roslin, which surprised Kara. “I thought I was going to die alone in space.”

“The Adama men didn't give up on you, Lieutenant”, Laura observed. “I was ready to order The Fleet to jump away.” Laura looked softly at Starbuck. “I'm glad they talked me out of it.”

“I wouldn't have blamed you or them had you left, Madam President. It would have been the right call.”

“Maybe the right call, but not the Human call”, she added to Starbuck's surprise. “Although I do get the feeling that you aren't very afraid of dying in battle?”

“Everyone's a little afraid of that, ma'am”, Kara corrected her. “You have to be nuts _not_ to be afraid. And some fear can keep you sharp in battle. But we all know it could happen at any moment. Honestly”, Kara said, Laura seeing the woman's beautiful eyes cloud over, “I'm more afraid of being forgotten after I'm gone.” She couldn't look at the President when saying the last few words.

Laura moved her chair a little closer to Kara, putting one of her hands over the pilot's. “Kara Thrace, I guarantee you, that anyone who meets you, could never forget you. Being a politician for longer than I ever wanted to be”, she continued, “I can tell you, most people _are_ forgettable. Most people are _not_ Kara Thrace.”

Kara felt her cheeks warm up as Laura squeezed her hand and smiled at her. Lee had convinced Kara to give the new President a fair chance, and she was glad that she had done so. The woman was smarter and tougher than anyone she knew. Far tougher and smarter than one Kara Thrace. Kara thought she knew a winner when she saw one, and Laura Roslin was a winner.

“Thank you, Madam President”, Kara said, her eyes misting up, clearly moved by such words. “I don't know if I deserve those words, but they mean a lot to me.”

“I meant every word of it, Starbuck”, Laura said, standing up. “But you don't need me hanging around her any longer. Doc Cottle tells me you need some rest, and I think the pain meds may get you there, so get some sleep.”

Kara gave the President a salute and a smile. “Yes, Madam President!”

Laura laughed, then became serious. “Perhaps we'll talk again soon?”

“I'd like that, ma'am.”

“In fact”, Laura grinned, “I just realized how top-heavy this joint is with men.” Kara laughed again. “When you're doing better, you and I will split a bottle of booze and make fun of all the boys on this ship.”

“Now that”, Kara said through her giggles, “sounds like a helluva lot of fun, uh, Madam President. You've got a deal.”

Laura was about to turn and leave, but paused, turned back with a caring expression on her face. She leaned over, kissing Starbuck on the forehead. “Get well, Kara. I need my best pilot back.”

The President turned without a glance and left the area, leaving a rather stunned, but a very emotional and happy injured pilot in her wake.

* * *

  
  


Two Months Later

“Do you believe in the gods, Lieutenant?”

President Laura Roslin looked benignly at Lieutenant Kara Thrace. It wasn't exactly the kind of question Kara Thrace was expecting. She had learned quickly that Laura Roslin was, as Lee had advertised: tough as nails, sharp, and without fear.

Starbuck had had a bad couple of days: fracking Vice-President Baltar, calling out Lee's name at an inopportune moment; Lee punching her hard in the face after confronting Kara about said fracking, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. That was OK-Kara wondered all the time what the hell was wrong with her.

“Not that it's any of your business”, she said with anger flashing in her eyes, “but yes, I believe.”

“Lieutenant”, Laura said, taken aback by Starbuck's tone, “I'm not trying to put you on the defensive, but I'd like you to think this through with me. If you believe in the gods, then you believe in the cycle of time, that we are all playing our parts in a story that is told to us again and again throughout history.”

Starbuck hated beating around the bush. “That's the way I was raised, but it does not mean that my part of the story is to go off on some crazy-ass mission against orders.” Her orders were to find an enemy Baseship, use the Raider in _Galactica's_ hanger to plant a nuke on it and destroy it. What President Roslin wanted was for her to ignore Admiral Adama's orders, and instead return to Caprica to retrieve the Arrow of Apollo. Kara knew her scriptures, but had no idea what Roslin was getting at.

She had come to almost trust Laura Roslin implicitly, but Kara Thrace was unpredictable, her anger and insubordination could rise at any moment, against anyone.

“May I tell you the part of the story that it seems I'm playing?” Kara didn't answer, so President Roslin continued. “I am dying.”

Starbuck's face went blank. Laura Roslin fascinated her. The President was strong, incredibly intelligent, resourceful, and fearless when it came to dealing with the Universe around her. Kara held her in awe. And on top of that, Kara felt she was one of the most stunningly beautiful women she had eve laid eyes on.

That hit her like a punch in the gut. “What?”

“I have terminal breast cancer”, Laura continued. “I have six months at the outside to live, and I've only told three people, so I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.”

Kara barely heard the President. _This can't be true,_ Kara said to herself behind what, she hoped, was a passive face. _This woman is larger than life._ “Of course”, Kara said in response. “Are you saying that you're...”

Laura finished the thought. “The scriptures tell us of a dying leader led Humanity to the Promised Land. If you go back to Caprica, and bring me the arrow, I will show us the way.”

“This is _crazy”,_ Kara replied with a smile filled with confusion. Laura noted she had not turned down her request.

“People keep using that word”, Laura agreed. “It is crazy. Perhaps. That doesn't mean it isn't true. And it may be our only chance-the _only_ chance to find Earth.” Laura's eyes never wavered from those of the young, incredibly talented, but incredibly undisciplined pilot.

In the end, Kara agreed to carry out this clandestine mission. It didn't help that the Old Man had lied to her, as he truly didn't know where Earth was, or even if it existed, but Kara realized on thing in the end.

She would do anything Laura Roslin asked her to do, no matter how crazy it was.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

II

  
  


“ **Lieutenant Thrace”, Laura Roslin said** , but with her eyes locked on Commander Adama, “why didn't you tell me we had another attack force hidden in the freighters?”

“We, uh...”

Adama cut Starbuck off. “It was my decision”, he said softly. “I routinely restrict tactical data to those who need to know. Old habits die hard.”

The President glanced over at Starbuck with a small nod, letting her know that they were good with each other, then turned back to Adama. “So we still might pull this off?”

Kara remained silent, but in her stomach was doing six G's. _C'mon, Lee_ , she prayed to herself, _don't frack this up..._

  
  


* * *

  
  


“ _Uh,_ Galactica, _Apollo. Mission Accomplished!”_

Both the War Room and CIC erupted in loud shouts and cheers. In CIC, Colonel Tigh turned to the Commander, and they silently shook hands, no other emotion or reaction visible.

The War Room was a little different.

President Roslin was to Starbuck's right when Apollo's call came through. As the War Room erupted, so did Kara. “Woo! Yes!” Others where hugging and laughing, Kara looking around, needing to hug _someone_. Laura was bent over the display, her hand on her chest, laughing a sigh of relief.

Starbuck grabbed the President and took her into a happy hug, the President obviously surprised, but not denying the embrace.

“Sorry Madam President, I'm sorry”, Starbuck said as she broke the embrace, but a brilliant smile on her face, her eyes shining proudly. She couldn't keep herself from laughing.

“No need to apologize”, Roslin said, turning fully to Starbuck. “Thanks to you, we have enough fuel to last us a few years.” Roslin's eyes were now shining proudly at the Lieutenant, understanding the significance of what had occurred-not only for their people, but for one Kara Thrace. She had reached, as Adama had said a few minutes ago, “The Big Leagues”.

Laura turned Kara toward her, and took her into a much soft, gentler embrace, Kara closing her eyes, feeling a sense of contentment in Laura's arms that she could never remember feeling in her life. Laura for her part, couldn't keep the tears out of her eyes. “You remember I told you a while back we'd have to find time to split a bottle of booze?”

Kara broke the embrace, looking at Laura with a grin. “Uh, yeah, about that?”

“About that?” Laura laughed again herself. “I think a little later would be a perfect time to celebrate, don't you? You've earned it, Kara.”

“Thank you, Madam President.” Roslin shook her head, Kara understanding immediately. “Thank you, Laura.” They hugged again. “You got a date.”

No one thought twice seeing the two of them continue the embrace. They chalked it up to the satisfaction of the moment, and they were right. But for Laura and Kara, it cemented further a bond that had been growing between them.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Later that evening on _Colonial One_ , true to her word, Kara joined the President to go through a bottle of wine to celebrate their monumental victory in taking the Tylium mine from The Cylons. Mining operations were to begin the next morning.

There had been partying on _Galactica_ , although being on constant war alert, a certain amount of the pilots weren't allowed more than a sip of alcohol, just in case the Toasters came calling. Commander Adama assured everyone that they'd have a chance to get shit-faced, which was met with loud cheers.

Starbuck didn't have to worry about that, as she was still a month away, at least, from being cleared to fly. She was doing light sim work, but nothing that would put too much strain on her healing knee, on which still couldn't bear the weight of more than two G's. She was not a patient person, but she was having to be just that. The fact that her Op Plan had worked this day was the best medicine of all.

“I think I felt more fear when you questioned me about not telling you about Lee's squad than I did over anything else in the War Room”, Kara admitted with a nervous laugh. “I almost swallowed my tongue.”

“That would have been a sight”, Laura said deadpan, laughing with the younger woman. “I assure you, Kara, that had the question not been answered to my satisfaction, I would have taken it out on the Commander, not you. You were just following orders.” Laura took a small sip of wine. “Besides, that move saved our collective asses. Well done.”

“When I first mentioned that part to Lee, he was furious”, Kara said honestly. “Like any good pilot, he wants to be in the thick of it from the get-go. But even with the Raiders pulled away, we knew it was gonna be a bitch taking out their defenses. All our pilots are damn good, Laura, but I don't think anyone else-even me-would have thought of what Lee did. I was nervous that he wouldn't pull this off, but he deserves as much credit as anyone.”

“That's very big of you, Lieutenant”, Laura observed. “Bill told me how up tight you were when you came into the War Room. It's different when you're responsible for a plan, not just part of it, isn't it?”

“I've never felt so much pressure in my life”, Kara admitted. “As Tigh said beforehand, and he was right-it cost us dearly, but to get that fuel. The price had to be paid for that.”

“How do you feel, knowing your plan worked, but also cost us some pilots?” Laura put up her hand before Kara spoke. “That's not a criticism, but as with the _Olympic Carrier_ fiasco, or when we left those sub-light ships behind the first day of the war, when you're in charge, or one of the few in charge, it takes a toll on you. Trust me, I know.”

“I almost had to leave, because I thought I was gonna throw up”, Kara said with stark honesty. “But as the Old Man said, this is The Big Leagues, and I couldn't bail.” Kara took a big gulp of wine this time. “How do you remain so damn calm? You make it look easy.”

Laura snorted a laugh. “It isn't. I've just been in...the game, as it were...long enough to know how to hide my own fears and concerns. It never gets any easier, especially when people die.”

“I lost three of my former Nuggets today, Laura”, Kara said sadly. “All of them were damn brave, and good pilots, but just didn't have enough experience yet. That's gonna hurt for a long time.”

Laura had been sitting across from Kara, who was on a couch. Roslin moved next to her, putting an arm around Starbuck. “Let it hurt, Kara”, Laura whispered. “If you stop hurting when this happens, it becomes too easy to throw lives away. That's one difference between us and The Cylons. They can download, at least the Humanoid ones can. We can't. When we die, we're gone.”  
  
“Hence the reason for the running population count in the office?”

Laura nodded. “Yes, exactly. I need the reminder of what this is about. I hate to bust it down to nothing but numbers, but that count keeps me centered, and reminds me that everyone of those numbers is a person that is special and precious to all of us.”

“I'll remember that moving forward”, Kara promised, leaning her head on Laura's shoulder for a moment. “I have a hunch that I'll be asked to plan more Ops in the future-and I do have a way of thinking unconventionally. I just don't want to become numb to it.”

“You won't, Starbuck”, Laura assured her. “You have a strength about you that is remarkable-even if you don't see it. You're a paradox”, Laura observed, looking sideways at Kara. “You are so hard on yourself, but you care so damn much for our people, and in winning this war. That's what makes you special.”

“You keep saying I'm special, Laura”, Kara said dismissively, “but rarely have I felt...special. It has to do with my upbringing, and other things. I'll probably tell you about it someday.” Her demeanor suddenly changed. “But tonight, we're celebrating a victory for us. And I promise not to get lost again so the Adama's use up half our fuel. Deal?”

Laura laughed. “Deal.” She looked at Kara again, moving a stray strand of blonde hair away from her eyes. “Don't sell yourself short, Starbuck”, Laura whispered. “As my condition worsens, you're going to be one that a lot of people turn to, even at your young age. You can be a leader of Mankind. I have faith in you.”

Kara had never heard anyone talk about her in that way. Kara Thrace? A leader? Maybe a leader in fracking up, Starbuck thought, but...she had proved today that when everything was on the line, that she could lead The Fleet through such a harrowing operation. It would be a long time, if ever, before she could command a fleet. But commanding and leading weren't always one in the same.

“Thank you, Laura. That means everything to me.” Kara leaned in and lightly kissed Laura on the lips, then backed off, her face telling the President that nothing needed to be reciprocated. It was simply an act of faith and trust. Laura understood that.

“You know what, Madam Prez?” Kara's grin was back. “We've spend far too much time blabbing, and not enough time drinking. I think we need to reverse that trend.” Kara raised her wine glass.

“So say we all, Lieutenant Thrace.” They clinked their glasses together.

They didn't go silent, and spend a few more hours talking, laughing, but doing a better job at finishing off the bottle of wine. By 0200, Kara had fallen asleep on the couch. Laura had told Kara she wasn't flying drunk, so she fetched Starbuck a pillow and blanket, kissed her on the forehead after Kara had fallen asleep, then went into her own bedroom, where she slept as peacefully as she had in a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

III

  
  


Two Years Later, _Colonial One_

“ **You want me to do** _ **what**_ **?** ”

Kara Thrace looked at President Laura Roslin like she was insane.

“You heard me, Captain”, Roslin said in that cool, reserved voice that intimidated so many people. Kara wasn't one who counted herself among those numbers. “If you don't, Admiral Cain is going to kill Commander Adama. It's that simple.”

“I'm a soldier, ma'am, not an assassin”, Kara objected. “Do you have any proof of what you're saying?”

Laura nodded. “We have circumstantial proof. Cain has sent Colonel Fisk over to _Galactica_ , which in and of itself isn't out-of-the-ordinary, or so the Commander has informed me.”

Kara nodded. “Lee's living proof of that”, Kara reminded Laura. “If we we had a full fleet, there would be transfers constantly, and personnel visiting other ships for short durations. Cain re-ordered the command, which is her right, and that's why Lee is CAG over on _Pegasus_ now.”

“Fisk also came over with a group of Marines hand-picked by Cain”, Laura said bluntly. “She ordered them over. Is that normal?”

“What the hell are you getting at?” She knew Cain was a hard-ass, but Kara didn't exactly mind that.

Laura let her in on Cain's dirty little secrets: shooting her XO in the head, in front of the CIC crew; leaving another civilian fleet behind after cannibalizing any parts and personnel to be used on _Pegasus_ ; her constant belittling Commander Adama; and lastly, the torture she had put the Cylon, Gina Invere through, after the two had been lovers. Laura even showed her photos of Invere that Gaius had taken clandestinely.

Kara stood frozen in place. Starbuck also remembered her role in shooting down the _Olympic Carrier_ shortly after they fled into deep space, which might have killed over a thousand people. Yet that was because the _Carrier_ was posing a threat to _Galactica_. If Cain really abandoned Civilians when she could have taken them with her...

“Those would be deemed crimes against Humanity, Madam President, and if found guilty, punishable by a sentence of death.”

“Precisely”, Laura Roslin said coldly. “Although her defense would be Gina Invere isn't Human, but a machine, and therefore no crime was committed.” Even Kara, as much as she hated The Cylons, could see in the pictures of Gina the bruises, the dried blood, the terror on her face. “She is capable of anything, Starbuck”, the President continued, “and after that near-shootout between the two ships, I'm convinced that I'm not over-reacting.”

Kara thought for a long moment. If she went through with this, and failed, she would forfeit her own life. That didn't scare her, although she wasn't quite ready to die. She also know if she somehow survived and failed, she'd end up like Gina Invere. She also couldn't discount the thuggish treatment that _Galactica_ personnel had endured under some of the _Pegasus_ crew-Helo and Chief Tyrol could attest to that, as could Helo's Cylon girlfriend, Sharon.

Yet in the end, despite their contentious conversation that was taking place, Kara only needed one reason to do it-because Laura Roslin had asked her to. In the end, Kara knew she could never turn this strong woman down-for anything. Kara had grown to admire Roslin in so many ways, and had grown to develop deep feelings for the President. In the end, that's all that mattered.

“Very well, Madam President”, Kara said, with no timidity or hesitation in her voice. “If I get the signal from the Commander, I will do as you ask.”

“I hope it doesn't come to this, Kara”, Laura said earnestly. “Believe me, I don't want to lose the Commander-or you, for that matter. I couldn't...handle such a loss.”

Kara took that to mean that the President wouldn't know what to do without someone who would never say no to her in going on what looked like suicide missions. Laura did mean it that way, but would never admit to meaning it in an entirely different context.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Three Days After Admiral Cain's Death

  
  


President Roslin had been so busy discussing the status of the two Battlestars after Admiral Cain's death, that she had almost no time for anything else. She especially hadn't been able to visit Kara, whom Lee had mentioned was very shaken up over the whole ordeal on _Pegasus_. Kara had told Lee she would have followed through with the President's order, but when the Commander advised her, in cryptic terms that she wouldn't have to play assassin, Kara had gone back to her quarters and had gone through a case of the shakes for several hours, only calming down after having a few drinks.

Laura finished her conference on the military situation. Bill Adama would be promoted to full Admiral, with Lee a full Commander, still in command of _Pegasus_. Saul Tigh would be promoted to Commander as well, now that he was serving under a full Admiral, and Kara would be promoted to Captain, now that she was permanent CAG on _Galactica_.

When the meeting broke up, Laura went in search of Starbuck. She wasn't surprised to find Kara at Joe's Bar, nursing a drink. Kara hadn't gone into another anxiety attack since that day on _Pegasus_ , but she was still feeling the effects of what she almost had done.

Despite the informality of Joe's Bar, someone decided to play soldier when they saw the President walk in.

“ _Ten Hut_!”

At first, everyone looked at the man like he was crazy, but when all of them saw who had entered, they all stood and saluted, making Laura laugh.

“As you were, people”, she said lightly. “No one's on duty here, got it?” Everyone gave a nervous chuckle. Kara eyed the President, who was moving to sit next to her.

“Madam President”, Kara greeted her. Laura saw how worn Starbuck's face was. Her eyes were almost devoid of the shine that was normally in them. “I didn't think Joe's Bar was your type of place?”

“I like a good glass of rot gut now and then, Lieu...uh, Captain Thrace.” She winked at Kara. That got a small smile out of Starbuck, which was a start.

“Then you've come to the right place, Madam Prez.” Kara got the attention of the bartender on duty, and ordered Laura a glass of Tyrol's famous moonshine.

“To some normalcy”, Kara said, raising her glass after Laura had hers in hand.

“To normalcy, whatever the hell that is.” Laura raised hers, and Kara laughed, the two women clinking their glasses together. Kara belted her drink back. Laura was a little more cautious. When she took a sip, she almost spit it out, making Kara laugh hysterically.

“That's holding your liquor, Madam President!” Everyone else dare not laugh, but Kara knew she could get away to it.

“This stuff is _horrid_! Chief Tyrol should be written up for Treason for this!” The President continued to sputter a little. When she calmed down, she then pounded the rest down in one gulp, turning to the bartender. “I'll take another.”

Kara-and everyone else who had seen it-looked at the President like she had three heads, their eyes wide with shock.

“What?” Laura looked at Kara seriously. “I told you I like a good rot gut now and then.”

“You said it was horrid!” Kara was close to bursting out in more laughter.

“It is, but right now, it's exactly what I need.”

Kara simply couldn't stifle the laugh any longer, Laura joining her.

When they calmed, Laura sipped at the poison this time. “I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to talk with you since you got back, Kara”, Laura said with some regret. “It's been crazy since that Cylon killed Cain. But I wanted to check up on you.”

“I'm OK, Madam President”, Kara replied. Even though they were drinking, she was in public, and wouldn't call Laura anything but the President among others. “I really am.”

“Do you want to go somewhere private and talk for a while? I've told you I'm always available to talk to you.”

With anyone else, Kara would have said “frack off”, or something along those lines, but she had come to trust Laura Roslin, and felt Laura was a kindred spirit, even if they were totally different. “Yeah, I'd like that. Let's just slowly finish this one, and I know where we can go.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


They actually ended up in the pilot's briefing room, after finishing their drinks. Unless someone else came in, she could simply be informal with Roslin. Laura knew something was bothering Starbuck, and had a good idea what it was, but wanted to draw it out of the pilot.

“OK, Thrace”, Laura said, elbow on one of the desks, her chin propped in her palm, “what's eating you?”

Kara looked mildly surprised, but upon reflection, she realized she hadn't been hiding it as well. “How the hell do I win at poker, when you can read right through me?”

Laura laughed. “You prepare yourself for poker, or when you fly-you can put a game-face on. That's the difference. Stop beating around the bush.”

“You heard what I said at Cain's memorial?” Laura nodded. “Was...was I wrong to give such praise to a person I almost murdered?”

Laura pondered on that for a few moments. That question would bother anyone, Laura knew. What Kara said at the memorial, that they were better off with Cain than without had troubled the President. Cain, by the time she was killed, had decided that no rules applied to her, and that she was willing to sacrifice her humanity simply to survive.

“Where you wrong?” No”, Laura said, almost surprising yourself. “Admiral Cain, like Adama, was dealt a shitty hand, Kara. There were no good choices. My first encounter with Adama, after the war started, was putting my foot down and demanding that we take on the refugees, because in the end, that's all that is left to us. Bill's instincts-your instincts, Lee's, Saul's, and everyone on _Galactica_ , is to fight. That's what you train for. You put your lives on the line every day in combat against The Cylons. You _have_ to have that mindset.”

“There's a big 'but' coming”, Kara said with a small smile. Laura returned it.

“But...Admiral Cain had no backstop for her military thinking. There's a reason why the Colonial Government was set up with civilians in authority over the military-it's for this very reason-so that there is a more cautionary force involved. Cain didn't have that. She played the role of a god after they fled. She left civilians behind-had them killed. She murdered her own XO right in CIC. She tortured that woman...” Laura stopped to hold back the bile in her throat. “Did you get a chance to see the Cylon Gina in her cell?”

“No”, Kara said, “but from Gaius said...”

“What Gaius said doesn't do it justice, even with his own eloquence. It was horrid. The place stunk of urine and feces, and dried blood. I was in there once. No living being, Human or Cylon, should be treated like that. It was the most revolting thing I've ever seen.

“What I guess I'm trying to say, Kara, is I _think_ that I and the Quorum, and the civilian presence in The Fleet reminds the military that there is something beyond the fight. Maybe had Cain had a civilian presence, she might not have gone 'round the bend? I don't know.”

“I guess you're right, Laura”, Kara said, “but I still think there was a place for her among us.”

Laura shook her head. “By the time we met up with _Pegasus_ , she was already too far gone, Starbuck. She had already cashiered her Humanity in the name of vengeance, in the name of simply the fight, and not in realizing that, with so precious few of us left, if we lose our Humanity, we lose everything.”

“So...you're not really mad at me?”

Laura looked at Kara in surprise. “Is that why your panties are in a wad? You were worried what I would think?”

“Panties in a...” Despite the depth of the subject, Kara couldn't help but laugh. “Gods, Madam Prez, I'm corrupting you.” Then she became serious. “Yeah, that's what has been on my mind. It wasn't an indictment of you or the Old Man, but simply the view I had. She was no saint, the gods know, but she survived. And yet you're right as well-we have to do more than survive.”

Laura put her hand on top of Kara's. “As a politician, Kara, people hold different views all the time. It's part of what differentiates us from The Cylons. It isn't a weakness: it's a strength. As a matter of fact, I was very proud of the courage and conviction you showed. You say you're corrupting me?” Laura's eyes sparkled at Starbuck. “I'd say-at least I hope-that part of me is rubbing off on you.”

“Gods, we're both in trouble”, Kara said, deadpan, both of them laughing. “Look, I'm never gonna be as good as you are, Laura. I'm just a dumb pilot, but if even a little of you rubs off on me, I'm a much better person for it.”

“I'm gonna cure you of putting yourself down, Kara Thrace”, Laura said with some sternness. “You're an amazing person.”

They talked for a while longer about more mundane subjects, simply two women talking about the world they lived in. Here there was no rank. It wasn't President and Captain, just Laura and Kara, who had become very good friends.


	5. Chapter 5

IV

  
  


New Caprica, Before The Cylon Occupation

“ **So you hear the latest scuttlebutt** , Madam President?” Saul Tigh had his usual tin cup of what Laura called “rot gut”, next to him on a piece of wood that was cut to what would be an end table, the cup sitting there.

“Let me guess”, Laura said with a thin smile, “Gaius Baltar resigned?”

Tigh let out one of his closed-mouth, small laughs. “Now _that_ I would drink to.” That thought seemed like such a good idea, that he picked up the tin cup and took a healthy swig. “No, but I heard Starbuck and Sam had a huge argument last night. Why those two frackin' hotheads got married is beyond me.”

That wasn't exactly news to Laura Roslin. Sam Anders and Kara had married not long ago. Her own sources-and even as an ex-president, she still had them-had indicated to her that she was pining for Lee, but Lee had decided that Kara wasn't worth the trouble, and had fully committed to his wife, Dee.

“Love works in mysterious ways, Colonel”, Laura said, shaking her head.

“I don't think she's in love with Sam”, Tigh said, quickly adding an amendment. “I think they care a lot for each other, but I don't think Kara really knows what love is. Not even when she was engaged to Zak Adama.”

Laura looked at him sharply. “Bill told me they were very much in love.”

“Let me put it this way, lady”, Tigh said in his gruff demeanor. “Kara has never felt that she deserved to be loved. Have you heard about her upbringing?” Laura shook her head to the negative. “Well, her mother was a piece of work-a drunk, and a drug addict. Starbuck told me once that, as punishment for pulling a practical joke on her mother, dear old mom smashed the fingers on her right hand into a door, breaking all of 'em.”

Laura recoiled in shock. “What kind of parent would...”

Tigh cut her off. “Like I said, her mom had substance addictions. Helluva way for someone to say 'I love you', isn't it?”

Over the next few weeks, Laura tried to talk to Starbuck, to see if she could allows the younger woman to get a lot of what was going on off her chest. Each time, Kara simply smiled at Laura, and told her that she was dealing with it, and thanked her for caring.

* * *

Kara Thrace was off by herself, in a hilly area just west of the settlement that was New Caprica. It was one of the few beautiful places on the otherwise dull, gray rock: hills that surrounded a valley that, on the few days the suns would shine, would turn the open meadow into an array of colors from flowers that would briefly open, only to disappear once the suns disappeared, which could be weeks on end.

It was her favorite spot to think. She had been spending more and more time at this location, as the fights between she and Sam had intensified. She only married Sam, she knew, to spite Lee. She loved Sam, but wasn't in love with him, and she had given up on trying to pin for Lee Adama. All it ever did was make them both miserable. Better to be miserable by himself.

Lost in thought, she didn't hear someone coming along the path that led to this spot. She didn't know anyone else was there until she heard a startled “oh, my goodness”, be hind her. She almost jumped out of her skin.

“Gods, Madam President”, Kara said, her heart starting to beat again, “you scared the shit out of me!”

Laura had been almost as equally surprised. “I'm sorry, Captain, I had no idea anyone else would even be here.”

Kara puzzled at Roslin. “You come up here? I thought I was the only one who knew about this place?”

Laura smiled and chuckled. “It's a good spot to think”, she noted, sitting down next to Starbuck. “Especially when the sun is out.”

Kara relaxed a little and smiled. “Yeah”, she said wistfully, “that's why I come out here. To think and to get my bearings.”

Laura could see the consternation on the woman's face. “Still having your marital issues?” It was said with no accusation or judgment in the former President's voice, which made Kara turn and smile at the older women.

“You could say that, Madam President.”

Laura shook her head. “Captain...Kara”, she corrected herself, “I'm not the president, so, please, call me Laura? You have called me Laura for so long when we're talking.”

Kara nodded. “Yeah, Laura, it's just fracked up, to be honest. Sam's not a bad guy, but we're both so fracking strong-willed and stubborn. We simply butt heads all the time.”

Laura studied the younger woman for a few moments. “I was in a few relationships like that when living on Caprica”, she informed Starbuck. “It isn't a good feeling knowing that you do care for someone, but things just can't seem to ever smooth themselves out.”

Kara snorted a laugh. “I'm just surprised with my history, Sam ever gave me the time of day, to be honest.”

“Why do you say that, Kara?”

Kara finally opened up to Laura, telling her about her childhood, her relationship with Zak, her maddening relationship with Lee, and her reputation on _Galactica_ as the best fracking pilot, and the best fracking frack onboard. Starbuck tried to keep it light, but Laura could see the doubt, and the hurt that filled the woman's eyes when talking about her life.

“So, yeah, I'm surprised I even wanted to get married. With the exception of Zak, I don't think I've ever been in love, and the gods know all those one-nighters my rack or someone else's rack onboard didn't mean anything.

“I guess I never felt I ever deserved love or happiness, Laura.”

Surprisingly, Kara Thrace broke down at that moment, a sudden rush of tears catching Laura Roslin off guard. Instinctively, she scooted over and wrapped Kara in an all-encompassing brace. Laura thought of the many times Starbuck had laid her very life on the line, and had never hesitated to do what Laura requested of her. Her heart ached for the younger lady.

“Kara Thrace”, she said soothingly, “you're so wrong. You deserve to be loved, just like everyone else. You probably deserve it more than most people. I'd be lucky to find someone like you.”

Laura didn't even realize she had said those words until it was too late. Kara broke the embrace to look at the ex-president. Kara was sure Laura had just said those words to be kind and uplifting, but the two women's eyes locked on each other at that moment. Maybe it was the rare warmth of the day. Maybe it was the drudgery of living on this gods-forsaken rock every day, with such little joy. Maybe it was just desperation.

Whatever it was, the kiss that erupted between them was like a bolt of lightning surging through them. In moments, clothes were discarded, and several hours spent in seclusion having intense, cathartic sex. They both put it down to simply the need for something liberating in a world where they felt prisoner to their circumstances. They couldn't allow for them to think of it as anything else.

The very next day, The Cylons arrived, sending _Galactica_ and _Pegasus_ away, Kara imprisoned by Leoben. She would not be free until The Fleet returned.


	6. Chapter 6

V

_Galactica_ , After The New Caprica Rescue

**Kara stepped off of a Raptor with Kacey** , still reeling from the events of the last few hours. She had no clue about the rescue, as Leoben had knocked her unconscious when the first explosions had erupted in New Caprica. Next thing she remembered was being over Sam's shoulders, wondering where Kacey was.

Kara had been through hell, held hostage by Leoben in the Doll House, but despite the psychological torture he had put her through, she came out of it with a daughter, and, Kara felt a new purpose in life.

Galen Tyrol was directing people around the quickly-filling up hangar, when he turned to see Kara holding a little blonde girl coming off of an arriving Raptor.

“Oh, my gods”, he said, with surprise, but also with a sense of joy. “Captain? I thought you were dead?”

Kara was laughing happily, holding Kacey in her arms. “Yeah, so did I.”

He glanced down at Kacey. “Hey, who is this?” Looking at her, Galen could see a resemblance to Starbuck, and wondered...

Sam Anders had exited the same Raptor. “Yeah, I was gonna ask that myself?”

Kara began introductions. “This is...”

She was interrupted.

“Kacey?”

A new, female voice entered the conversation to Kara's left, the woman, perhaps a year or two older than Kara, looking at Kacey like she had seen a ghost.

“Kacey! Oh, my little girl!” As Kacey turned toward the voice, ad smile lit up her face in recognition. “Oh, mommy missed you so much!”

The little girl crawled from Kara into her mother's arms. At that moment, all the joy Kara Thrace had felt at returning home to _Galactica,_ was pulverized in her mind like a rock to fine dust.

“Thank you”, the woman said again, Kara not knowing what to do. “When The Cylons took her, I...I thought...” She couldn't finish the thought. “But you saved her. Gods bless you.”

The woman turned with Kacey and raced away, Kara waving at the little girl. Sam and Galen teared up at the reunion of mother and daughter, but didn't notice the devastation that clouded over Kara's eyes.

* * *

Three Days Later

Kara Thrace hadn't talked to nary a soul since Kacey had been taken from her arms by her mother, beyond the military formality of seeing the Admiral again. Adama, upon hearing what she had been through, gave her two weeks off before returning to flight duty, to sort out her emotions.

Kara didn't want to have anything to do with anyone, not even Sam. He had tried to be close to her, and to show her affection, but she pushed him away. The incident with losing Kacey had fracked up Kara Thrace something awful. She knew it, she hated it, but she also didn't want to let go of the anger of not just losing Kacey, but the torture Leoben had put her through. It was a paradox that her mind couldn't work out.

Sam had chosen to chase his own demons away by joining The Circle, a group that was signed into existence by Acting President Tom Zarek, made up of six people, who would have carte Blanche to find evidence against those Human who had betrayed them to The Cylons, and to dish out swift and if needed, capital punishment, to those found guilty. After Sam and Kara had had their latest muted disagreement, Sam left in disgust for the first meeting.

Kara went somewhere on the ship that few people knew existed: it was an old observation bubble that sat almost exactly amidship atop the superstructure. It was put in as a tradition-a relic honored from the past long before Dradis was invented, to plot the course of a ship by dead-reckoning of stars. Most of the time, it sat covered by thick alloy metals, but could be opened up so that thick, very clear glass surrounded a person, and they could look at the Universe unfiltered.

Kara had opened the bubble top and simply stared out, every now and then rotating her chair in a different direction. She really wasn't looking at anything. More like looking past everything back into her own soul, to try and come to terms with the bitterness and heartache that was inside her.

She thought back to New Caprica: sleeping that one night with Lee, then marrying Sam the next day; the constant fights she and Sam had, marked by physical and passionate love-making that never did completely heal the wounds; the nightmare of the Doll House. The entire stay on New Caprica had been literal torture, in one form or another.

 _Except,_ Kara remembered, _one unexpected, wild, scintillating afternoon..._

Yet at that moment, she didn't even know if the person who had given her that unexpected gift was even alive. She had pulled herself away from everything and everyone at the moment, and hadn't even given a second thought to Laura Roslin.

* * *

Laura Roslin had returned to _Galactica_ three days after the rescue, giving her formal thanks to Bill and Lee Adama, and then giving them each a hug that she wondered if would ever occur when the two Battlestars had fled.

Yet like so many others, the former (and soon-to-be current) President was feeling the after-effects of that hellish time. She had made the deal two days before to have Tom Zarek sworn in as President, then he would immediately resign, and put Laura's name forward to once again be President until new elections could be held.

That morning, she had been aghast to find out that Zarek had authorized what was no less than an execution squad to deal out death sentences to those who had collaborated with The Cylons on New Caprica. No trials. No representation. Summarily judged and dealt with. To be sure, she wanted justice against those who had betrayed them-including The Cylons themselves-but not like this.

Fortunately, Zarek was already officially out of office, but she knew that The Circle would be very popular among much of the population. As she had toured _Galactica_ for the first time since being liberated, that was made abundantly clear to her. The headaches were already piling up. She could go back to _Colonial One_ , but most of the media camped out there, and she didn't want to deal with that.

She needed somewhere quiet and alone to think. Admiral Adama had told her about a perfect spot on _Galactica_ to do just that.

* * *

Kara was leaning back in one of the three chairs in the enclosed bubble, her eyes closed, and her right hand pressed against her forehead, as if trying to hold back a headache. If she was trying to hold it back, she thought, she had failed, because the headache was pounding at her brain.

She hadn't heard anyone climbing the metal ladder to the canopied area, even though the sound of feet on the rungs. Kara was too lost in thought. However, she couldn't miss the noise of the hatch opening...

Kara nearly jumped out of her skin in fright as the hatch opened.

“Holy frack”, she yelped loudly.

The person entering turned toward Kara. “Oh, my gods! I'm so...” Laura Roslin stopped in mid-sentence. “Kara?”

Starbuck was still trying to calm herself after the unexpected interruption. “Madam President”, she began, too loudly, but not able to help herself, “is it your lot in life to scare me to death every time we meet? Frack!”

“My gods, Captain, I'm sorry! I had no idea anyone was up here!”

It took Kara a few more moments to regain her composure. “I almost jumped through the glass and into space.” She snorted a laugh with the remark, Laura also relaxing. Then the younger woman's demeanor changed. “But I'm so glad that you're still alive, Madam President. Until right now, I didn't know if you made it out or not.”

Starbuck enfolded the President into a strong embrace, some tears leaving Kara's eyes, realizing that this woman, who she would carry out any mission for, and who she would do anything for, was still with them. After the last few days, it was her first sign of hope.

Laura returned the embrace, smelling again the unique scent that was Kara Thrace, a scent she had burned into her memory after that one, glorious afternoon on New Caprica-the only glorious moment on that rock-well, maybe second to leaving it. “I had heard from the Admiral that you were alive, but he didn't give me many details. I tried to talk to Sam, but...”

Kara let the embrace end, then she bade Roslin to sit in one of the other seats. “Yeah, well, Sam isn't one for talking, even to his wife right now.”

“I'm sorry, Kara”, Laura said sincerely, despite the fact that she had willingly fracked the man's wife. “Can you fill me on what happened to you?”

Kara hadn't talked to anyone about her imprisonment, or the false story about Kacey being her daughter, but with Laura Roslin, she had felt comfortable around her from the first moment they had met, and she desperately needed to tell someone about what she had been through. Laura sat, transfixed, as Kara told her about Leoben, Kacey, and losing the little girl on her return to _Galactica_.

Starbuck held her emotions mostly in check, but Laura could see the pain, confusion, and the anger in the blonde woman's eyes. She had stared into those eyes for that one afternoon, and knew the kind of passion they held. Her heart broke for Kara.

“Kara...Starbuck”, the President sputtered, “I honestly don't know what to say. No one should go through what you did.”

“I wasn't the only one”, Starbuck said softly, “and I lived through it Some people didn't. I also didn't lose an eye, like Tigh did.”

“It doesn't make it any less sickening, Kara.”

“You know what's funny, Laura? Every day, that bastard told me that I would tell him I loved him, and that I would forget about Sam.”

“But you didn't let that happen, did you?”

Kara softly shook her head. “No, I didn't. I told him Sam was a hundred times the man he was, but what is really funny, Laura, is that during the very lowest moments that I was in there, when I tried to shut everything out, I didn't think of Sam.”

Laura's shut her eyes, knowing where Kara was going. “Kara, you don't have to...”

Kara put a finger to the President's lips. “Please, I need to say this, Laura.” She took an extra moment to compose herself. “At those lowest moments, I thought of you, and that afternoon. I'm not looking for anything from you, Laura”, she added hastily, “but I'm glad I got to tell you face-to-face how much that day meant to me. If you had died down there...”

Laura didn't know how to respond at first, but after a few moments, she gathered herself. “I didn't expect that to happen, Kara”, she said gently, “but I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass and say it was a mistake, or that it was meaningless. We both wanted it. I think it was cathartic for both of us.”

“I wonder if that would have happened between us in any other setting?”

Laura shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I do know this.” She put her hands on Kara's cheeks. “I wouldn't do that with just anyone, Kara Thrace. It's probably the same reason I send you on all those crazy missions: I trust you implicitly. I have since the moment I met you.”

Kara hesitated, even when looking at the spectacular green eyes of Laura Roslin. No, she didn't require anything from the President-she already had the woman's respect and trust. Yet Kara could see they were both still reeling from New Caprica, and the uncertainties that had surrounded their return.

Kara leaned in slowly, giving Laura time to back off. Laura didn't. Kara pressed her lips to Roslin's. The same fire that had been lit on New Caprica was felt by both women in this latest kiss. The kiss became hotter and more passionate.

After a few minutes, Laura broke it, panting. “Do you know any where we can go on this ship that is more comfortable than this, and maybe just as isolated?”

Kara gave Laura a sultry grin.

* * *

Laura Roslin swore she could hear angels singing as her eyes were closed, her head thrown back, as Kara feasted on the most intimate, most sensitive flesh between her legs. Laura had no idea what this young, breathtakingly gorgeous, maddening paradoxical woman was doing to her nether lips and the small, aching bundle of nerves that sat atop them, but she was in a world that she never truly knew existed until this moment.

Kara was in her own special nirvana, marveling at the textures and tastes of this women-the only woman she had ever done this with, herself overloading with the same need between her legs as the one that she was satisfying between Laura's. The moans, the small cries, the blessing of Kara's name over and over, drove Kara to take this woman to a height that she never knew existed, feeling the utter sultriness of giving instead of receiving.

Two wet fingers were inserted into the President, Laura Roslin's breath catching and halting to adjust to this new undoing being performed on her.

“Gods, Starbuck”, Laura moaned in the abandoned quarters, six decks below the main deck. It had been used when the the Old Girl had a full compliment of crews, which _Galactica_ certainly didn't have when the war came. It still had its uses, however. “You're gonna be the death of me”, she continued in a shaky voice.

Kara simply laughed. The laugh sent electricity through Laura's body, because at that moment, Kara's lips were sucking hard on the President's clit. Laura was more than OK with that.

A few minutes later, Roslin came in a shattering climax that virtually elevated her body off the old worn bed in the abandoned space, her cries so loud that she was sure they would hear her all the way in CIC.

Laura didn't waste any time, giving the Captain a presidential order to straddle her face, as Roslin began her own assault on Kara's genitals, and in moments Kara was riding and bucking on top of this redheaded goddess that she knew she would die for. Not because of this or any other sexual encounter, but because Laura Roslin was everything she wasn't. For many glorious minutes, Kara bucked, slid, and ground her most precious treasures into Laura's waiting lips and tongue, until she screamed her own climax, pressing down hard on the President's face, and riding it through two other orgasms.

The two collapsed on the bed, the frustration of the last week having been purged from their systems. They lay there, extremities entwined, their breathing calming, eyes closed, just feeling, for a moment in time, like a normal Human being, and not a politician, a pilot, not feeling like someone to be feared or someone that was seen as a misfit.

After what seemed like a lifetime, but was only perhaps fifteen minutes, Laura broke the silence. Her voice was laced with sadness. “You know, we can't do this again, Kara.” She turned to look at the younger women, holding her tighter, and kissing her cheek. “Not that I wouldn't want to, but, well, there's Sam and the Admiral.”

“I know”, Kara said, almost to herself. “Doesn't mean I have to like it. I feel so...normal when I'm with you, you know?” Laura chuckled and nodded her head.

“Normal is something that neither of us are, Captain.” Laura winked at Starbuck and gave her the thin, endearing smile that everyone seemed to fall for. Kara laughed at that.

“No, definitely not normal.” Starbuck became serious. “But you have to promise me something Laura. Now that you've beaten this cancer, enjoy as much of life as you can, and don't worry about me.”

“Kara”, Laura objected, “I _always_ worry about you. I did when I sent you to Caprica to get the arrow; I did when I told you to kill Cain; I worried about you when you went missing. It's not like we won't see and interact with each other”, she reminded the blonde. “You're a damn important member of the military Command team. You can't get rid of me that easily.”

Kara snorted another laugh. “I'm sure others would like to try”, she said, teasing the strongest woman she had ever met, also squeezing the woman's breasts at the same moment. “Since this is our last time, Madam President, do you think we should have a final curtain call?”

“Oh, you were reading my mind, Kara.” Both women laughed with a sultry look on their faces, and spent another hour making love. Then it was over.


	7. Chapter 7

VI

A Month Later

**Kara Thrace had contacted the man** that had been picked by Gaius Baltar to represent him in his upcoming trial. The former President had been returned by The Cylons, charged with Treason and Crimes Against Humanity. It seemed odd for Kara to pick someone that Gaius thought highly of, but everyone in The Fleet knew of one Romo Lampkin, and his reputation as one of the best attorneys in The Colonies before the war.

Starbuck had been thinking on something since that last night she had spent with the President. True to their word, they had not repeated what they had done, and had settled into a comfortable, professional relationship. Her marriage to Sam was still rocky, but Kara was trying to make it work.

One event had caused her to call on Lampkin, and that was her short involvement with The Circle. The Circle had been authorized by former President Tom Zarek, putting together a group of six people to hold secret tribunals, and to meat out the death penalty to those found guilty of collaborating with The Cylons on New Caprica. More than a dozen people had been flushed out airlocks before President Roslin and Admiral Adama had rescinded the Executive Order.

The case that all but ended The Circle was that of Felix Gaeta. He had been Baltar's Chief of Staff on New Caprica, The Circle seeing him as a definite target for their mandate. Yet it had turned out that, egged on by Kara herself, Gaeta had told the story about the yellow dog bowl that sat near one of the camp dogs, Jake, and how he used it as a signal to inform the Resistance of information about the government. It had saved Laura Roslin, Zarek, and many others from possible death.

Had Gaeta refused to open up, he would have been killed. Despite her anger, that experience had shaken Starbuck to her core. She was more than willing to execute a traitor, but not someone who was innocent.

That, along with the two encounters with President Roslin, once on New Caprica, and once on _Galactica_ , had led her to this decision.

The day before, Kara had found an empty room on _Galactica_. She had borrowed a video recording device from a member of the media, who had also given her a blank tape to record on. She didn't waste any time, saying what she wanted, afraid she would change her mind.

* * *

Kara had already informed Lampkin in a private message that she needed to talk to him. He met her the night that she made the recording.

“If this is about the upcoming trial, Captain”, the man from Gemenon informed her in his rusty voice, “this will be a short conversation.”

“Your reputation precedes you, Mr. Lampkin”, Kara said with a smile. “No, this has nothing to do with Gaius' trial. I recently made a recording, that I want delivered to a certain individual in the event of my death. I want this done legally. The reason for that is obvious. I don't want this recording ever becoming public knowledge.”

Romo nodded. “Very well.” He pulled out his ever-handy briefcase, extracting a legal pad, and other documents that he could use. “I accept your offer.”

It took approximately thirty minutes for Romo to have the documents written up. He informed Starbuck that he would type them up that evening, and bring finished papers to her the next day to be signed. When that was done, Kara and Lampkin went on with their lives.

* * *

Two Weeks Later

_Colonial One_

Laura Roslin really didn't want to give Gaius Baltar a trail for his crimes on New Caprica. She had preferred to simply blow him out of the closest airlock. But since her gamesmanship in threatening that to get the former President to talk had failed, Admiral Adama had advised her to hold the trial. There had been enough mischief involving the Office of The President the last three years to last for thirty years: two attempted coups; one attempt at fixing an election; the presidency as a puppet for The Cylons. They needed to do this one right.

It had occupied most of the President's time for the last two weeks. Even though she wasn't part of the Prosecution, she had a vested interest in the case, and so had been working with the Prosecutors in crafting the case against Baltar. She felt the case was solid. Most everyone felt the verdict would be a foregone conclusion. Yet Laura Roslin didn't want to leave anything to chance.

She had just met with Chief Prosecutor Didi Cassidy, and also with the Defense Council, Romo Lampkin, simply to discuss what the ground rules were to be. Roslin didn't make any suggestions, but wanted it on record on how this would go. The meeting was tense, but professional. Tory had been in and out of the office on _Colonial One_ to attend any incoming messages or issues from The Fleet. Laura had informed her Chief of Staff that she would take notes. Lampkin had also brought along an audio recorder, and indicated he would make copies available to all three of them.

About three quarters through the meeting, one of the Marines that guarded her office, opened the door. All three occupants looked at the man that entered. “Madam President, you have an emergency call from _Galactica_.”

“Any idea what it's about, Lieutenant?”

The young man shook his head. “No idea. It's Commander Adama. He just got off CAP, and needs to talk to you. He said it's urgent.”

“Very well, I'll be right there, Lieutenant, thank you.” She looked at Didi and Romo. “I doubt this will take too long”, she smiled thinly at both of them, “but duty calls.”

Laura went to the outer ante room that was Tory's domain. The beautiful, dark-skinned woman was almost white as a sheet, her eyes wide as she looked at the President. She was holding out the phone for her boss. Laura cocked her head, but didn't speak, taking the phone.

“This is the President”, Laura said evenly.

“ _Madam President...Laura_ ”, Lee Adama amended on the other end of the phone, “ _I apologize for interrupting your schedule, but...”_ Lee couldn't finish, Laura hearing more distress in his voice than she had ever heard.

“What is it, Lee?”

“ _Laura_ ”, he said, taking a breath, “ _we've lost Starbuck_.”

It didn't immediately register with the President. “Lost her. Are you saying she's stuck on a planet again? Is there a SAR underway?”

“ _No, Madam President”,_ Lee said, his voice almost to the breaking point. “ _We've lost her. She's gone. Her ship disintegrated in front of mine forty-five minutes ago.”_

Roslin was still standing as Lee said those words. Tory had seen the color drain from the President's face and grabbed the chair that was near Roslin, and put it behind her rear-end, Roslin literally collapsing into the seat as her knees gave way.

Laura stared out into nothing, not wanting to believe the words. She then tightly closed her eyes, to keep the impending tears back. “No”, she said, almost s _otto voce_. “Not...we can't lose Kara. There's no way...”

Lee knew what the President was feeling. He had no idea about the two trysts between the two most powerful women in The Fleet, but he did know that there had been a respect and admiration between the two of them. And beyond that, losing one of the greatest pilots ever to fly in the Colonial Fleet was a massive loss. “ _I wish it weren't true, Laura.”_ The President could here the man's voice finally breaking, “ _but she's gone. I know she admired you greatly, and visa-versa, and I knew you'd want to know.”_

“Thank you, Lee”, Laura said almost mechanically, no inflection in her voice. “Please, tell your father I will be over soon. I know he can't be handling this well.”

“ _No one is, Madam President.”_

“Goodbye, Commander.” Roslin terminated the call. She looked up at Tory, who still looked like a ghost herself, Tory not surprised at the tears falling freely down the President's face. Tory had her network to keep tabs on news that was relevant to the President. Roslin didn't know that Tory knew about both of her sexual encounters with Starbuck. Tory didn't have an opinion on that either way, but it was her job to protect the President. Such information would help her do so.

“Tory”, Laura said after a few minutes, her Presidential mask coming firmly back on, “would you be so kind as to advise Ms. Cassidy and Mr. Lampkin of this news, and advise them I need to postpone the rest of our meeting?”

“Of course, Madam President”, her assistant answered immediately. “Can I do anything else for you at the moment?”

“No, thank you, Tory”, she said gratefully. “I'm going to retire to my quarters for a short while. I need a little time to myself.”

“I understand, Madam President”, Tory said with sympathy in her voice. She did understand it-more than Laura Roslin ever could imagine.

* * *

Ms. Cassidy departed, but Lampkin stayed behind for a few minutes. “Miss Foster, it's imperative that I advise the President of one thing before I leave.”

“Can it wait, Mr. Lampkin”, Tory said with a little annoyance in her voice.

“No, it cannot”, he said quietly, even though no one else was around. “It actually has to do with the events that have unfolded today. It won't take me more than a few minutes, I give you my word.”

“Very well”, Tory said, still suspicious of the man.

Laura was putting a few things away in her office when Romo arrived. “Mr. Lampkin”, she began, “not to be rude, but I really don't want...”

“Madam President, I beg your pardon”, he cut her off mildly, “but because of the events today, I need to impart something to you.”

“What is it, Mr. Lampkin?” Laura wasn't any happier than Tory.

“I have in my possession a video recording that was given to me a while back. It was given to me by Captain Thrace, to be delivered only to you upon her death. I do not have it with me, but I can have it shuttled over here within the hour. I have a binding, legal obligation to deliver it to you.”

“What...what is on the recording, Mr. Lampkin?”

“Madam President, I do not know. Captain Thrace made it clear that only you would ever see the recording.”

“Do you know if she left recordings for anyone else.” Laura had to believe she had made one for Sam, Lee, Bill, even Helo...

“If she did, Madam President, she did not do so through me. That leads me to believe she did not make any other recordings.”

“Gods”, Laura Roslin said, her stomach doing back flips.

* * *

As promised, Lampkin had the recording and the playback device delivered to the President within the hour, the man personally going to his ship and back, not trusting it to anyone else.

“Madam President”, Lampkin said, pulling out a small manila folder with several papers in it. “This was a legally binding agreement that I made with Captain Thrace, and in order to fulfill my obligation to her, I will need both of us to sign where I indicate. After that, the file will go into my personal vault, that no one else can access. That will fulfill the agreement to Captain Thrace's wishes.”

“Very well, counselor”, Laura said. “Just show me where to sign.”

Lampkin did so, and after Romo affixed his notary stamp to the papers, he returned them to the folder, than into his briefcase. “Thank you, Madam President. I am sorry I needed to take more of your time.” He paused, looked down and took a breath. “I know in the upcoming trial we will be on opposite sides, but please know it isn't personal. As I said, I don't know what is in the recording, but I do know that losing Kara Thrace...losing Starbuck, is a grievous blow to our people. Good night, Madam President.”

Lampkin nodded solemnly, and without a glance back, left her office.

Laura waited another ten minutes before she opened the contents in the box that Lampkin had delivered, simply staring at it for the next half hour.


	8. Chapter 8

VII

“ _ **Laura”,**_ **the recording began**. Kara was sitting on a desk, her legs dangling in front of her, her eyes not quite meeting the camera yet, “ _If you're watching this, it means I am gone. I hope you never see this, to be honest”,_ Kara said with that disarming smirk of hers, _“but, well, in the line of work I'm in, it's always a possibility._

“ _It's funny, I've never feared death. I told Lee once I don't fear dying, just being forgotten.”_

Laura Roslin found that almost comical, as anyone who ever met Kara Thrace could never forget her. Even if Laura had never made love to Kara, she could never be forgotten.

“ _Nothing has made much sense since the day we left The Colonies, we both know that, and we've seen more shit that anyone deserves to go through in ten lifetimes. But here we are. None of us can say we've been pure as the driven snow during this journey, but having said that, there are some things I wanted to tell you.”_

Laura braced herself for the coming words, knowing that whatever it was, her heart was going to break. She truly loved Kara Thrace: she wasn't in love with her, but the woman had been, perhaps, the most loyal person that she had known, her devotion to duty and to Laura had never wavered, whatever Roslin had asked.

“ _When I first met you, I didn't think you had it in you to be a leader.”_ Kara laughed at the remark. “ _I was definitely wrong about that. You had impressed Lee, and he told me to give you a chance. And I'm glad I did. The fact is that you're the strongest person I have ever known, Laura Roslin.”_

That caused tears to pool in the President's eyes.

“ _You are brave, incredibly intelligent, strong beyond belief. It shows in the way you've battled the cancer, and in how you always stood up for our people. Not only that”,_ Kara continued, her own emotions starting to show, _“but you showed me what I could perhaps be if I didn't have so many faults. You showed me that a woman can be strong, and also a woman at the same time._

“ _I was never going to be as good as you, Laura, but that's OK. You cared about me just as I was. You never made me feel like I was second best-and that was before the two times we made love.”_ That patented smirk appeared again, even as Kara was becoming more emotional. “ _Don't kid yourself, Madam President: it was love-making, both times. I don't think we were in love with each other, but I do know that I love you immensely, and that I believe you loved me back. Part of any type of love includes trust, and you trusted me with some dangerous missions, because you knew I'd come through for you, even if I didn't think I would.”_

Tears were now coming down Kara's cheeks on the recording, Laura not able to hold hers back. “ _I hope that when I died, that it was for something that would benefit our people, and would give them a better chance to survive.”_ The fact that Kara's death had been senseless, as far as anyone could see, made her passing all the more painful. “ _But no matter how I died, I hope I met it with my eyes open._

“ _You're the only one I made a recording for, because, in the end, you have been the only person that accepted me completely for who I was, warts and all, and never once made me feel like I was a misfit.”_

Kara wiped her eyes now, Laura clearly seeing that Starbuck hated showing any weakness, but simply not able to help it.

“ _Now that I'm gone, I hope that you'll remember me fondly, and laugh when you think about me. Please don't cry-well, at least not after watching this.”_ Laura couldn't help laughing through her tears at that statement. “ _Just know I carry a special love for you inside my soul forever, even though I'm gone. I believe that you'll get our people to a new home, be it Earth, or somewhere else. I just ask that you keep a part of me in your heart, Laura.”_

Kara's fingers came to her lips, and she blew a kiss to Laura, the video fading out.

Laura put the recorder and the tape in the box, and sealed it with a key only she had. She informed Tory to cancel her appointments for the rest of the day, then Laura Roslin retreated to her bedroom, and cried for hours before finally falling into a troubled sleep.

* * *

One Month Later

“Doc, what the hell is going on with the President?”

Admiral Adama, along with Lee and Saul, were conferring with Doctor Sherman Cottle. Over the last month, the President who had beaten cancer had become withdrawn and sick. The Not Guilty verdict in the Baltar trial, they all thought, had put her into the depression. That hadn't helped, but only Laura Roslin knew the real reason for her decline.

“There's nothing physically wrong with her, Admiral”, Cottle insisted. “The cancer isn't there. There's no sign of an infection, or a virus, or anything else. I can't explain it. I can't find anything physically wrong with her.”

“It's got to be something”, Lee observed. “She's lost a helluva lot of weight, and she's having problems holding food down.”

“I know, Commander”, Cottle said, anger rising in his voice. “I've reached out to other doctors in The Fleet. I'm even meeting with Dr. Baltar tonight. Despite the trial, he's agreed to try and see if he can see anything in her blood work, or anything else that I might have missed.”

“You trust Baltar around her?” Tigh couldn't believe his ears. “Are we that desperate?”

“Yeah, Commander”, Cottle replied, “I'm that desperate. If she keeps fading like this...”

That hung in the air for a long, painful moment.

“I know you don't need my permission, Sherman, to have Baltar take a look at things”, the Admiral noted, “but I would like to talk to both of you together before you give him access.”

“Understood, Admiral”, Cottle said obediently. “I'll have him over here ASAP from that compound of his.”

Adama met with Cottle and Baltar alone, the famed scientist assuring the Admiral that he did want to help.

“I know you won't believe this, Admiral”, Baltar told him in the meeting, “but hearing what Dr. Cottle has told me, is most alarming. I may not get along with the President personally, mind you”, he said, wanting to make the point, “but we need everyone, and that includes Laura Roslin.”

Adama had told both in no uncertain terms that the President would not be told about Baltar's participation. Her condition was bad enough. He didn't want this information to worsen it.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Laura Roslin's condition continued to deteriorate. Cottle, Baltar, and everyone else was at a loss to explain it. It simply made no sense.

Bill Adama stopped by to talk to the President one day, trying to find out what was going on.

“The doctors are finding nothing physically wrong with you, Laura”, he protested. “What do you think is going on?”

Laura knew. The moment she had finished watching Kara's recording, her heart had broken. She had lost her Champion-the one person in The Fleet that she had trusted more than all others. A woman who was fierce, complicated, belligerent, madding, tender, resentful, and loving, all wrapped in the most breathtaking package Laura had ever witnessed. The moment she had met Kara Thrace, the younger woman had endeared herself to the President. Yet it wasn't the fact that Kara had been drop-dead gorgeous, and sensual beyond what anyone had a right to be, she had _earned_ the President's admiration. When Kara's soul left the living Universe, so had Laura's spirit.

“I know exactly what is going on, Bill, but I really don't want to talk about it. There's nothing you, or I, or anyone else can do about it. I think it's simply approaching my time.”

Adama shook his head. “That doesn't sound like you, Laura Roslin. You beat cancer. You have gone toe-to-toe with The Cylons since day one. You bested me when I tried to overthrow you. I've never seen you give up. We need you-I need you. Please, tell me, if you know, what's happened to you?”

Despite his pleading, and a few days later, the pleading from Lee, from Tory, from members of the Quorum, she kept her counsel to herself. It was too personal. It was too raw, still, and too painful. It had drained her of her spirit.

She continued to worsen.

* * *

Admiral Adama was asleep when a call came into his quarters at 0300 from the Night Watch in CIC. “This is the Admiral.”

“Sir”, the voice on the other end said, “this is Captain Rickets, Doc Cottle just called and said you're needed immediately in the Med Bay.”

“Have Commander Adama wakened, and send him over as well. Adama out.”

* * *

Laura Roslin opened her eyes, and saw the visage of Admiral William Adama looking down on her. A man that had started out as an antagonist, had ended up being one of her fiercest supporters, and sometimes lover. Yet she had never been in love with the man. When Laura Roslin thought about it, she had never truly been in love with anyone. Not Richard Adar; not Bill Adama; Not Kara Thrace. Nor any of the other four or five that she had been intimate in her life with. She had always been proud that she wasn't what was known as “loose”. She regretted none of the affairs she had undertaken.

“Hello, Admiral”, she said with a small, tired, but sincere smile. “Isn't it the middle of the night?”

“It's always the middle of the night in space, Madam President”, he said deadpan. Despite her weakened condition, Laura Roslin laughed at that one.

“Touché, Admiral.” Roslin took a heavy breath. “I suppose Cottle got you out of bed to trade jokes with me?”

“No, he didn't”, Bill said more sadly. “He told me...” Bill didn't want to finish the sentence.

“He told you that I'd taken a bit of a turn for the worse...is that what you're saying?”

“Something like that”, the Admiral responded. “You always could see right through me.”

“Damn right, mister”, she said with a wink and a smile.

Bill sighed, quieting for a long moment, and looking at the floor. “None of us understand what has happened to you. Cottle can find nothing wrong with you. The blood tests are negative. There's no cancer.”

Laura knew her time was approaching. It wouldn't be in the next few minutes, she knew that, but she needed to unburden her soul to this wonderful man-soldier that was Bill Adama. They had shared more than enough that he had earned the right.

She told him about everything she had asked of Kara Thrace over the last few years. Of course the Admiral knew about the missions, but she went into detail about those moments that had changed her and the now-dead pilot. Bill Adama could hear, and feel, that Laura Roslin had held Kara in high esteem, despite her reputation.

“One day, on New Caprica...it hadn't been a good week, and everything seemed to be going wrong for everyone, I went out for a walk...”

She confessed about the lusty, mind-blowing encounter with Kara that day. No details were offered. None were asked for. She informed him about their meeting shortly after _Galactica_

had pulled them off that godsforsaken rock, again without detail, but that how deeply Laura had felt about the encounter, and how much Kara had meant to her. Bill didn't comment. He could have been jealous, but that was pointless. Like Kara Thrace, he knew Laura Roslin was a complicated, often unfathomable spirit, and he accepted her words without uttering his own.

“I've never had anyone, Bill”, she continued, her voice beginning to crack, tears again in her eyes, “that has touched my soul like that beautiful, confused, fracked-up, loving Human Being. She was like a hurricane, but in her wake you felt a fresh breeze of summer, and it made you smile.” The look she gave Bill Adama at that moment was heart-rendering, and he would never forget the pain and regret etched on her tired, drawn face.

“I wasn't in love with Kara”, she noted. “But like Adar, and you, and a few others, I loved her dearly. I survived after realizing President Adar was dead. The gods strike me down for telling you this, but I would have found a way to go on if you had been taken, or Lee, but Kara?” Roslin broke into halting sobs. “I _loved_ that girl so much-and I would say that even if I hadn't made love to her twice. She just made my soul feel so alive...so free. Her light can't ever be replaced, Bill. When that light went out, so did mine.”

Two days later, President Laura Roslin died.


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue

Six Weeks Later

“ **Chief, I'm gonna need you to develop** my gun camera footage ASAP. I got a helluva set of vacation pictures.” She climbed off the brilliant white Viper, smeared with the blood from a Cylon Raider. “I'll take my post-flight checklist. I want to sign off so I can get in the shower.”

Chief Galen Tyrol felt like he was looking at a ghost. “I don't have one for you.”

All the jocks, and the mechanics, and everyone else that was in the area had converged on that hangar, and all of them looking at the blonde who had stepped out of the fighter.

“What's up?” She gave a nervous laugh.

Before anyone could respond, Lee Adama was upon her, and hugged her with all his might.

“Okay”, Kara Thrace said, wondering what this was about. “OK. Me, too, it's okay, it's okay.”

On Lee's heels, Sam Anders walked up to her. “I told everyone you were to fracking mean for anyone to kill you.” He tried to laugh, but his voice cracked with joy.

“Okay”, she repeated, “I'm okay, I'm okay.” Then she looked at what her husband was wearing. “What the hell are you doing in a jock smock.”

Sam Anders, Call Sign Longshot, didn't delay in answering. “I just finished Viper Transition a week ago, and I started ACM.”

Kara was thoroughly confused now. “How the...”

“Starbuck!”

Kara looked up on the catwalk to her right, hearing the Old Man's voice.

She turned to face him, a confident smile on her face. “I did it, Boss”, she said with pride. “I found Earth.” She gave a satisfied laugh.

“Everybody move back”, the Admiral ordered, those below him obeying, except for the Marine guards who advance closer, weapons trained on the pilot. “I need you in Sickbay. Doc Cottle's gonna give you a complete physical examination.”

“OK, what the hell's going on?” Kara's demeanor had turned from joy, to consternation, to outright anger. “I'm off this ship for a few hours, and everybody's acting...”

Sam cut her off. “A few hours?” The confusion was universal now. “Kara, you were gone for over two months.

“That's impossible”, she countered, even before Sam had stopped talking. “My ship's clock reads six hours and change.”

“Then your clock's wrong, Kara”, Lee said, seeing the look on his friend's face. “Sam's telling the truth. We thought you were dead.”

* * *

After the physical, Cottle debunked what everyone was thinking-Kara Thrace was not a Cylon, and everything matched up to her being...well, her.

The Old Man, Lee, and Tigh were in the room with she and Cottle. “I don't understand any of this”, she kept repeating over and over.

“I'll show you the video tapes, Starbuck”, Lee offered. “Video from my Viper, from _Galactica_ , and from two other ships in The Fleet.”

“We held a service for you in the hangar”, Tigh added. “Five thousand strong said goodbye to you, Thrace.”

“You all thought I was dead...” It still hadn't sunk in. Yet in an instant, panic swept over Starbuck. “Dead...” She noticed someone missing that she thought would have been at the meeting. “Where is the President?” She stood up as if prodded by an electric shock.

No one wanted to speak, least of all Bill Adama, but Lee was the logical choice, and they looked at him. “I'm...the President, Kara”, he said. “Yeah, I flew this mission because I was needed but...”

Bill Adama looked at his son, who stopped in his tracks. “The three of you”, he commanded, looking at Tigh, Lee, and Cottle, “clear the room.”

The three were gone in a matter of moments.

“Sir, where is Laura?”

Bill walked over to Kara, and put a gentle hand on her shoulders. “You need to take a seat, Starbuck. We have things to discuss.”

* * *

Kara Thrace sat, alone for the moment, in Admiral Adama's quarters. Before President Roslin had died, she had informed Bill of the legal details that were with Romo Lampkin. Adama had summoned the man to confirm with Kara that her last wishes had been carried out. Lampkin left quickly after that.

Bill was alone with Kara now. “I can't believe she's gone. Did the cancer return? I just don't understand...”

Bill studied her for a moment.

“Starbuck, no, the cancer didn't return. Shortly after your ship...blew up...Laura's health started to worsen. Cottle, other doctors-hell, even Gaius, tried to find a reason for her deterioration, but they couldn't find anything.”

“So, what was it, sir?”

Bill sighed. “Starbuck...Kara”, he amended, a sad smile coming over his visage, “about two days before she died, Laura told me about the interactions between the two of you since we left The Colonies. She told me how she had come to trust you implicitly, and how much she respected you.” He sighed again, almost not continuing. “She also told me about the intimate times you shared.”

Kara gasped, her hands going to her face in shame. “Gods, what you must think of me, sir. I'm so...”

Bill touched her shoulder, Kara looking at him suddenly. “I think nothing less of you, Kara. Nothing at all. So the two of you found some brief moments of love and passion in this hellish existence of ours. So what? Love is never a bad thing, Starbuck.”

“Still”, Kara began, “I know that you two...that...”

“It's Okay, Starbuck”, Bill assured her. “Again, I can't blame anyone for grasping at such moments. As we've seen, life out here is precarious. We never know when our moment will arrive. And you have my word that, unless you tell anyone else, this is known only to you and me. It's safe in my silence. Sam doesn't need to know, neither does Lee, or anyone else.”

“I didn't...” Like had transpired with Laura just before she died, Kara broke down in tears in front of her Admiral, who was as close to a father as she had ever had. “I didn't...get to say goodbye to her, sir. I didn't get to tell her that I did love her, very much.”

“She knew that, Starbuck”, he assured her with a tender smile. “You need to find your own way to honor her memory, and to keep her spirit in your heart for the rest of your days, just as I will-just as most of the people in The Fleet will.”

“I don't know how to do that, sir”, Kara confessed. “I've never been one to show my feelings, or to even know what they mean.”

“How about this: you start with going and visit Laura's photograph on the Memorial wall, and spending some time talking to her?”

“And after that? What can I do keep her memory alive.”

Bill stood up, grabbing Kara's hand, and raising her up as well. He looked into her eyes, and gave her a warm smile. “You can lead us to Earth. I know that's what she would have wanted.”

* * *

Kara made her way to the Memorial wall, where pictures of hundreds, if not thousands, of those who had been lost during or after the attack, were displayed, contemplating the Old Man's words. There was a special spot adorning the wall, just for President Roslin. Kara stopped at it, thinking about the faith and the trust Laura had put into her, so that they could find a new home.

After a while, she stepped up to the photo, looking around to make sure no one was nearby. “I'm so sorry, Laura, I wasn't hear for you. But I will carry on your work, and your dream of finding us a new home. Just know that you're _always_ in my heart and my soul. I'll carry you forever.” She put two fingers to her lips, kissed them, then pressed the fingers to the photo of Laura Roslin. “I will always love you, Madam President. Rest easy.”

Kara turned to walk away, and wasn't planning to look back. But she did, certain she could hear Laura's voice, hear her infectious laughter, feel Laura lips on her own, and her arms around here. Suddenly, she didn't feel so weighed down by grief. Instead a new spirit of joy and purpose washed over her.

She smiled at the photo, blew one more kissed, then turned and walked away.

And, in the end, Kara Thrace led her people to Earth. She had fulfilled Laura's dream.

_The End_


End file.
